


cross my heart (and hope to die)

by zimtlein



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Accidental Bonding, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Enemies Working Together, F/M, Heart-to-Heart, Minor Injuries, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 02:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zimtlein/pseuds/zimtlein
Summary: Rayla tells Soren and Claudia that they shouldn’t attack the fire dragon. They listen to her.Still, she didn’t expect to save Soren’s life in the process.





	cross my heart (and hope to die)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little canon divergent that popped into my head while rewatching season 2. As a multishipper, I really enjoy Soren/Rayla.  
> Hope you like it!

Above her, a roar thunders through the air. Rayla shivers. She’s just outside the city walls, not quite daring to set a foot inside. Not as an elf among anxious humans, at least. Callum and Ezran were still sleeping when she left their hideout, oblivious to the restlessness shaking her to the core. They are safe, she tells herself. The danger is out here in the form of a dark shadow gliding through clouds.

She knows that it is a dragon. She already knew when she saw the shadow for the first time back on the ship. Telling Callum and Ezran would have probably only upset them, though. So she kept quiet. Maybe the dragon will be gone in the next few hours. Even if it doesn’t make sense. Dragons usually don’t bother intimidating small human towns. But it’s not like Rayla understands them all that well in any sense. They have their mysterious ways, Runaan used to say.

Mysterious. Right.

A rustling sound snaps her out of her thoughts. Rayla hides in the shadows, hood pulled over her head, and peeks into the darkness. She knows the person looking up to the sky, knows the figure standing right next to him. Her fingers automatically claw into the trunk she’s hiding behind, but she keeps quiet and listens.

“See, it’s lurking. Waiting for the right opportunity.”

“I don’t know.” Claudia looks at her brother in thought. “It hasn’t attacked.”

“Yet!”

“But attacking it first, that’s … It feels like a bad idea.”

“We can’t just wait until it attacks us. We gotta strike first. Get the upper hand. Battle tactics, Clauds.”

Claudia shakes her head. Rayla does, too. How could a human be stupid enough to attack a dragon?

She immediately takes back the thought. It’s _Soren_ , after all.

“I’m going to look after our traitor.” Claudia sighs loudly and gives Soren a long look. “Please, think about it again. There has to be another solution.” She pats her brother’s arm before turning around and leaving.

Soren exhales and looks up to the sky again. For some long moments, Rayla doesn’t know what to do. They are just humans. What would it matter if a dragon wiped out a whole human town? They are replaceable, after all. Then again, Callum and Ezran are humans, too. Humans she would do almost anything for. Humans there is no replacement for. So she grits her teeth, takes a breath and steps out of her hideout.

“Don’t,” she says into the silence, making her words echo far louder than she wanted them to. “Don’t attack the dragon.”

Soren whirls around, his hand already on his sword’s hilt. His eyes widen when he realizes who is talking to him. Her fingers itch, but she doesn’t reach for her own weapons. Instead she raises her hands.

“Not here to fight. Just here to tell you that attacking the dragon is a really, really bad idea.”

“If you are here,” he responds, “then the princes must be close.”

She rolls her eyes. What a surprise, he doesn’t listen to her. “Maybe. Maybe not. If you kill me, you’ll never find out.”

He draws his sword. Everything inside her screams to pull out her weapons, too. But she remains calm. Stares him down and ignores the smirk on his lips. “There are ways to make you talk, elf.”

“Make me talk, huh.” Slowly, her hands sink down. “What, you want to torture me?”

Her tone makes his smirk vanish. “Well, yeah. Obviously.”

“How sophisticated.” Rayla takes a deep and calming breath. “Listen. You don’t want those humans to die, do you? Then hear me out – don’t attack that dragon. There is a way –”

The first attack surprises her, Soren’s blade missing her only by mere inches. Her hands fly to her weapons, blocking his second attempt. The force behind the attack makes her stumble backwards. She catches herself, ducks underneath the blade once again and stops herself from striking back. Instead she turns to the nearest tree and swiftly climbs it. She stops at a particularly strong branch, letting her legs dangle down.

“What do we have here?” Soren calls from the ground, raising his eyebrows. “A coward? What a surprise.”

“Oh, look, an idiot!” She points an accusing finger at him. “What a damn surprise!”

“Hey. Stop copying my lines.”

She resists the urge to bang her head against the tree trunk. “I told you I am not here to fight. You get that?”

He shrugs in an exaggerated manner, his sword still in his hand. “Honestly, what am I supposed to do? Listen to an elf that clearly twisted Callum’s and Ezran’s minds?” His eyes narrow. “You bit them, didn’t you?”

“What?”

“Just –” He kicks at the tree. “We still got a mission, okay?” He kicks again. “So either tell me where the princes are or let me fight you.” He stops to look up to her with widened eyes and a quivering lip. “Please?”

“This is not about Callum and Ezran, you dimwit.”

“Pretty please?”

She closes her eyes for a moment, presses her lips together, tells herself it wouldn’t help to lose her temper. Then she gives a deep sigh. “All right. If I win, will you listen to me?”

“Yeah, why not.” He shrugs. “Even though we both know well enough that _your_ winning would be –”

Her movements are fast enough that Soren almost didn’t notice. Her blade buzzes through the air and misses his shoulder. Rayla has to gain her balance again after jumping from such a high place, making her vulnerable for Soren’s counter-attack. She parries, metal meeting metal, and quickly puts some distance between them again.

“My winning would be a surprise, huh?” she ends his sentence.

Secretly she likes the feeling. The battle, the excitement, the way her body moves perfectly at her will, the way her fingers are used to clawing into her swords’ hilts. The way her heart starts to beat wildly as Soren and her circle each other, their eyes linked. At least they’ve got this in common: aching for the thrill of a fight, the thrill of competing against a worthy opponent.

“Dirty trick,” he responds, though he doesn’t seem upset.

“Battle tactics,” she grins.

He snorts. His next attack is easier to block. She uses her hilt to knock him off balance, following his stumbling with one of the blades. As strong as he is, agility is not his forte. So when he manages to fall into a firm battle stance again, she’s already behind him, giving his back a well-calculated kick.

Soren almost falls face first, but uses his sword to catch his fall and whirls around to her, his blade almost knocking one of her own swords out of her hand. She hisses at the pain responds with the same sentiment, going for his right arm. Whereas agility is one of her strong points, strength isn’t, and she quickly realizes that any attempt at overpowering him with force will lead nowhere.

She ducks under his blade. When he attacks again just seconds afterwards, she manages to block his strike. Instead of countering immediately like he anticipated, she gives him another kick, this time going for his stomach. He stumbles backwards with a sharp exhale and crashes into a tree. It’s the moment of surprise that allows her to follow his movements until her sword’s tip almost presses against his throat.

He freezes at the spot. She can see him gulp. A feeling of triumph races through her veins as she controls her own breathing. Her hand shakes a bit, but she doesn’t let it show. “Surprise,” she grins, taking in his defeated expression.

“Yes, surprise,” a voice calls from further away. Rayla only risks a quick glance before focusing on Soren again. Claudia. Something in her hand. She couldn’t make out what exactly it is. “Lower your weapon, Rayla.”

Damn. She grits her teeth and thinks. Faster, something. “Not here to kill him,” she responds. “But if you try anything funny, I will.” There’s no immediate answer, so Rayla presses the blade closer to Soren’s throat and nods to the side. He doesn’t look as smug as she expected as he complies, moving in very small steps until his back faces Claudia, granting Rayla a chance to watch her. “You better drop whatever’s in your hand.”

Claudia returns her look for a few long, steady seconds. Then she opens her hands. A wriggling insect falls to the ground, fluttering away only seconds later. She shows Rayla her palms, eyebrows drawn together.

“I trust you, okay?” Claudia calls. “So why are you here?”

“You _what_?” Soren shrieks. With a warning look, Rayla moves her blade just a bit closer. He shuts his mouth immediately.

“Look, Soren. She’s taking care of Callum and Ezran. They trust her. So if – I mean, she wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t something important.” Claudia lowers her hands, clutching the fabric of her trousers instead. “Are they hurt?”

It’s irritating. The worry in her eyes is irritating. Rayla swallows her empathy down. “No, they are fine. I’m here because of the dragon.” She turns to Soren again. “If you don’t want the town to be destroyed, then don’t attack them. I mean it. Don’t.”

“So we should just wait until it decides to attack us sooner or later?” he snorts.

Rayla wrinkles her nose. “No. There’s a way to chase them off.”

“Sure there is.”

“Soren,” Claudia warns. She comes closer. Rayla instantly tenses, and Claudia defensively raises her hands again. “All right. Let’s say – no fighting. Common goal here. Okay, Soren? Put the sword away and we’ll talk.”

“Talk,” Soren drawls.

“Yeah.” Rayla raises an eyebrow. “That’s when you use your words. Familiar with the concept?”

He huffs and moves to sheathe his sword. “I don’t like your sarcasm.”

“Good.” She only lets her weapon sink when she’s sure he won’t launch a surprise attack. Still, she keeps both swords in her hands as she turns to Claudia once again. “Just one question. What color were the scales?”

Claudia and Soren look at each other. “Red,” Claudia eventually answers. “Why?”

“A fire dragon, then. They have one natural weakness.”

Claudia perks up, her eyes widening. She taps the side of her nose with a grin. “Oh, oh, I get it. Fire. Sure. They don’t like water.”

With a nod, Rayla leans forward. “So …?”

“We throw a bucket of water after it?” Soren offers.

Rayla sighs. Almost simultaneously, Claudia does the same. It’s his sister who answers him. “No, dummy. Rain. Fire dragons don’t like rain.” She raises one hand to her chin. “A weather-altering spell. That’s … not easy. But possible. Definitely possible.”

“Right.” Rayla backs away, still facing them both. “Do your dark magic thingy and save some people, will you? That’s all. I’m out.”

“No, wait.” Claudia reaches for her. At the sudden movement, Rayla raises her swords, and Claudia winces before dropping her hand again. She offers Rayla an unconvincing smile instead. “I could do it tonight. But there are some ingredients I’d need that I don’t have. And, and I hardly do weather-altering spells because they are really draining, and there’s so much to prepare, and –”

“Your point being?” Rayla interrupts, her shoulders so tense that it starts to hurt.

“If you and Soren got me some ingredients, I could do the spell in approximately one hour.”

 She looks at Soren. He looks at her. The emotions she is feeling are reflected in his eyes. Repulsion. Confusion. She gulps. “Can’t he do it himself? He’s a big boy.”

“Exactly, I’m a big boy!” Soren confirms.

Claudia fidgets. “Soren has no idea about insects and fruit, where and how to find them, you know … Would make it easier.”

Rayla starts to sweat. She really, really doesn’t want to. But both Callum and Ezran would want her to. Saving a human town by helping their old friends? A miracle. It will only take an hour, she repeats to herself. Only an hour. Maybe it’s a trick, sure. Maybe it isn’t. She doesn’t know what to do. She is getting more and more nervous by the second.

“You aren’t serious,” Soren retorts. “I can’t work together with an elf. An elf! What if she bites me?”

“Ew! Why would I bite you!”

“Because you’re an elf! It’s the way they transmit their mind-controlling germs!”

Rayla’s right eye twitches. “Do you even realize how completely insane you sound?”

“Yeah? Maybe you’ve already bitten me and turned my brain to mush, huh? Just covering it up for now, right?”

“Your lack of brains is _not_ my fault, believe me.”

Soren stares at her. “I don’t –”

“Soren, that’s enough already!” Claudia pinches the bridge of her nose. “Look, it’s just – Rayla could help us, okay? You gotta admit that her help would really be appreciated, right?”

Soren huffs and crosses his arms. He looks at Rayla, his nose scrunched up. As coldly as possible, she stares back. Then, just slowly and hesitantly, he shrugs. “Whatever. It’s not like you’d listen to my opinion.”

Claudia clasps her hands and mouths a silent ‘please’ at Rayla.

Can she even say no? Not fair. It definitely isn’t fair. But this isn’t about her, or Soren, or Claudia. It’s about a town full of innocent people and a dragon who seemingly doesn’t know what the definition of ‘appropriate behavior’ is.

So she nods.

 

She regrets it almost instantly.

“Claudia might trust you, but I don’t. Just so you know.”

“What a shame,” she mutters, trying to get through the undergrowth without scratching her skin open. She would have normally taken the easier route – trees – but the thought of Soren trying to follow her, having to wait for him as he’s traying to catch up, was convincing enough to decide otherwise. So here she is, having to listen to his one-sided conversation while trying not to lose her mind.

“I knew right from the start that you couldn’t be trusted.”

“Because,” she sighs, “I’m an elf.”

“Precisely.”

“And humans are more trustworthy.”

“Well, yeah.”

“So you lied to Callum and Ezran. About their father. Because you are trustworthy.”

Some seconds of silence. When she casts a glance over her shoulder, she notices Soren’s expression. Guilt. Obviously. Still a bit of defiance, which doesn’t anger her as much as she thought. She is familiar with defiance. She knows how to deal with it. She knows that he won’t back down, and it makes her all the more eager to win this fight.

“Yeah,” he replies, “and you – and you kidnapped them.”

“Look, Soren. How many times do I have to explain? I. Didn’t. Kidnap. Them. They even told you so!”

“Because you somehow twisted their minds, or –” He is interrupted by some branches hitting him right in the face. The lamp in his hand swings violently back and forth.

“Woops,” she utters. “Sorry.”

He spits out some leaves and glares at her. “That was on purpose.”

“No, it wasn’t.” She flutters her eyelashes at him.

Soren actually hesitates. It would be almost funny if she wasn’t tired of this idiot trying to prove a stupid point. She turns around again, concentrating on her path. The list of things Claudia needs isn’t that long. Two kinds of berries that like moist areas. Spiders which inhabit watersides. A kind of bug that can be found next to certain plants. To be honest, Soren would have been lost on his own. By the looks of it, he wouldn’t have a clue how to find water in a wood, let alone certain plants or insects.

It’s not like she can turn back anyway. Even though she’d really love to. Especially when he starts talking again.

“I would have been fine with chasing that stupid dragon away on my own. At least we would have shown it that we aren’t afraid of it.”

“Don’t think they would have been impressed by your attempts. Dragons aren’t some birds you can chase away, you know.”

“They,” Soren repeats. “What, is there more than one?”

“I don’t think so.” At Soren’s confused look, she sighs. “They. As in, I don’t know if they are female or male.” The confusion is still apparent on his face and she sighs again. “If you haven’t noticed by now, dragons aren’t your typical animals. They are intelligent. Scarily so. They are not an … an ‘it’.”

“They are to me. Nothing more than mindless animals.”

She doesn’t even have the energy to shake her head at that. “The only mindless idiot here is you.”

He stays silent for some seconds, but of course he can’t keep his mouth shut. “Are you always like this?”

“Like what?”

“Snappy. How can the princes even tolerate you?”

She represses the urge to stare daggers at him. “How can _anyone_ tolerate _you_? That’s the greater mystery here.”

“First of all, I don’t overuse sarcasm.”

“You don’t even know how to use sarcasm at all.”

“You’re wrong! I am fluent in sarcasm!”

“Oh yeah?” Rayla sends him a look, noticing a spark of ambition in his eyes. Well, at least it’s a tiny bit amusing. “Go for it.”

They don’t stop moving, but he suddenly ducks his head, even though his eyes don’t leave hers. “You,” he starts and stops himself as he avoids some branches. “You,” he tries again, this time unable to meet her eyes, “you look …” He clears his throat. It’s so idiotic that she has to hold back a laugh. “You look nice. Kinda.”

He seems embarrassed. It’s so stupid. Rayla rolls her eyes and turns away again. It’s so stupid that it’s almost sad. “Wow. I’m impressed.”

“Really?”

“No.” She doesn’t spare him a glance. “ _That_ was sarcasm, not – you know what, forget it. Can we please just collect those ingredients in peaceful silence?”

“Fine,” he mutters. Then, just seconds later, “That’s boring.”

She luckily doesn’t have to answer. They reach a tiny clearing and an even tinier stream. With a gesture, she urges Soren to come closer so the lamp illuminates the whole area. She starts scanning the bushes around them, looking for the berries Claudia needs.

“Make yourself useful and find some spiders by the water,” she says. “Claudia needs the tiny black ones. Ten of them. They’re pretty quick, so grab them as soon as you see one.”

She turns her back on him, crouching down to the bushes in front of her. After a while she notices that Soren hasn’t moved. She looks at him impatiently. He stares right back, his mouth twisted.

“What?” she asks.

“What?” he returns, obviously nervous.

“Why are you standing there? Go grab some spiders.”

“Spiders.”

“Yes. Spiders.”

“Spiders,” he repeats another time, becoming paler by the second, and it suddenly clicks.

“Don’t tell me,” she says slowly, standing up until they are almost at eye level (he’s still taller than her and she absolutely hates it), “you are afraid of spiders. Of tiny little spiders.”

His expression is answer enough. “That’s not it,” he still says. “I’m not afraid of – that’s ridiculous. I’m not.”

“Crawly tiny spiders.” She steps closer. “With hairy legs. Just waiting to bite you.”

“I’m not afraid of spiders. You hear me?”

“Just waiting,” she continues, bringing her hand slowly closer to his arm without him noticing it, “to crawl up your skin.” Her nails touch his arm, tiny light dabs.

He shrieks and swats her hand away. The sound is followed by utter silence. His face turns into a horrified expression. It takes her some more seconds to finally let out a laugh, hesitantly at first, then louder, then so uncontrollable that she has to cover her mouth with her hand.

“I,” Soren tries, his cheeks turning pink, “just don’t like spiders, okay?”

“Okay,” she manages between another burst of laughter. “The great Soren, the great swordsman Soren, afraid of spiders. Okay! Yeah. Understandable. Yep.”

“That’s Claudia’s thing, okay? Spiders and insects and all that gross stuff. It’s not – I never had to – stop laughing!”

“Sorry.” His expression makes it worse. She tries to hold it back, but it just makes her gasp for air. “So next time we fight, I’ll just throw some spiders at you, huh?”

“That’s not funny, elf!”

“I’m sorry, but it really is!”

“As if – as if you there’s nothing you are afraid of! I mean, dislike. Nothing you dislike.”

“At least I’m not afraid of tiny spiders. I mean, that’s cute. Really cute.” She just can’t stop laughing, imagining all the ways a freaking _spider_ could be the reason he lost a fight.

“You should really stop. Like, really.”

His tone has changed to an almost hushed one. It makes her laughter subside. He isn’t looking at her anymore, and something about the way he takes a step back makes her tense up. She can hear something. A rustling sound behind her. Something heavy. Slowly and carefully, she urges herself to turn around, her hands moving to her swords.

She doesn’t notice it at first. It’s dark after all, and the only thing she can make out are the eyes. Red glowing eyes. Then she can hear its breath. It’s so loud that she wonders how she didn’t hear it before. The creature takes a step, leaves around it rustle, and she is suddenly aware of how huge this thing is. All black fur and angry red eyes. A bear, it seems. A really huge and frightening bear. She takes a step back. The creature takes another step forward. She bumps into Soren.

“Maybe it didn’t notice us,” Soren whispers, the lamp in his shaking hands clinking.

“Well, it will if you don’t shut up,” she hisses.

“If you hadn’t laughed like a freaking hyena, we wouldn’t –”

“Can you save that for later? _Please_?”

“I’m just saying that it’s your fault.”

“Who cares? If we stay quiet, it might –”

The bear roars and lunges forward, aiming exactly at the two of them.

Years of training has bestowed her with fast reflexes, so avoiding the attack comes easy to her. She hears glass shatter and realizes that Soren’s evasion maneuver has destroyed the lamp. For a moment she is just relieved that both of them weren’t mangled in an instance. Then the bear abruptly turns to her, its body tensing and its growl sending shivers through her body.

“Run!” she yells at Soren as she pulls out her dual swords.

“What? What about you?” he answers. The bear eyes her, another growl escaping its throat. If she wasn’t quite a tad afraid, she would have wondered about Soren’s words.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got it. Just go!”

She hears footsteps. The bear does too. It roars again, turning its head away from her. Damn. The only idea she has is distraction.

“Hey there, don’t forget about me! Come on now, don’t – hey, don’t run away, no –” The bear starts to move, at first sluggishly, then picking up pace. She reacts too late. Chasing after it, she tries to distract it with yells that get ignored. She can’t even reach it with her swords, making any attack useless. At this rate, it will reach Soren in no time. Sudden panic races through her veins. She climbs up a tree, following the animal from up there by jumping from branch to branch, trying to think of something. Fast.

It’s a quiet night despite the sound of heavy footsteps and roars underneath her. From time to time, startled birds take flight to a safer place. She can’t see Soren yet. She could jump down and ram her blade into the animal. Still, it’s not like she wants to kill it. It’s their own fault for being too loud. And she doubts that she can kill a bear on her own. Without taking any risks. Would have been nice if Ezran was here. Sadly enough, it’s not much use when _she_ yells at the bear to just stop and calm the hell down.

The wood seems to clear up, less and less trees constricting her view. She can see Soren in the distance. She can also see an abrupt edge to the landscape. A cliff. A really high and really dangerous cliff. Soren stops at the edge, looking down for a few moments before stepping away, his hand on his sword’s hilt.

The bear roars yet again. The sound vibrates in her bones. In a last desperate attempt, she jumps from a branch, aiming for the bear. It’s just short of reaching Soren. Her blade drives through fur and into flesh, and with a painful sound, the animal rears up, almost causing her to fall off it. She holds onto her sword.

“Move, Soren!”

“It will catch me before I can reach the town!” he returns.

Damn it. She manages to pull her sword out again and avoids being hit by the bear’s paw. On quick feet, she joins Soren who falls into a fighting stance, his sword in his hands. There’s no way they can win this fight without risking their lives. That bear is angry, strong and surprisingly fast. And bringing Soren to safety isn’t an easy task. Would be simpler if he could climb trees. But his armor makes him too heavy and too slow.

“What now?” she hisses.

“I don’t know.”

“Great plan.”

“Could you stop with your sarcasm? It’s making my head hurt and I have to think!”

The bear lunges towards them. Both of them can avoid the attack, but the bear is smart enough to go after the easier target. It attacks again with its crawls. Rayla can hear the impact of Soren’s sword meeting the bear’s paw, but the animal is stronger. Soren loses his stance and is knocked to the ground. Before the animal can tear him to pieces, she aims her blades at it and attacks, leaving a deep cut at its flank. It turns towards her again, making it possible for Soren to lift himself up.

She takes a deep breath, preparing for another attack. Then she hears a scream. This moment of distraction makes her vulnerable for the bear’s attack. She only feels the impact of its paw, its claw piercing into her arm before she hits the ground. Stars dance before her eyes. But the bear isn’t interested in her, it seems. It moves away and towards the cliff. She pulls herself together and gets up again. Her arm burns like hell, but she pushes forward, looking for Soren.

He disappeared. Nowhere to be seen. It takes her some long seconds until she can see a hand hanging at the edge of the cliff. And it seems to be slipping away.

Oh. Oh no.

Without paying any more attention to the bear, she puts her swords away and lunges forward, catching Soren’s hand before he can fall. Not her smartest idea. The momentum makes her slither forward until her whole upper body hangs over the cliff. She’s gripping Soren’s hand with her bad arm. Great. He looks up at her with the same panic she is feeling right now. Behind her, she can hear heavy steps coming closer, the animal’s loud breathing in her neck. She won’t be able to pull Soren up before the bear will cause both of them to fall off the edge. There’s one solution, though. And she hates it. She absolutely hates it.

Does she have a choice?

Praying to whatever is out there, she grips a relatively stable looking rock at the edge of the cliff and lets herself slide down until she also dangles there, the arm holding Soren starting to ache. Bad idea, bad idea. Maybe that bear is smart enough to understand that she didn’t fall to her death right now. Maybe it can even see her hand. From her position, she can’t see what the animal is doing. Only some heavy footsteps. Another roar, loud and vibrating. She’s waiting, starting to sweat, cold sweat that is making her shake. The deep scratch on her arm is starting to pulsate along with her heartbeat. Every muscle is slowly starting to scream. It feels like minutes until there’s a sniff coming from the bear, some unsure stomps, another growl.

Then its footsteps get quieter and quieter until she is sure it’s gone.

Rayla would have been relieved. But she’s still dangling from the edge of a cliff. Soren is heavy, she knew it. That damn armor. She tries to pull herself up. It’s working, kind of. But it takes way too long and her arm gives away again, making her grip on the rock looser. The pain makes her clench her teeth.

“Can you make it?” Soren yells up to her. The nervousness in his voice doesn’t make anything easier.

“Yeah, just – just don’t move.”

“Can I help?”

“Yes,” she hisses, drops of sweat trickling over her cheeks. Her arms are screaming for relief. She is agile, not strong, after all. Her fingers become tired of holding onto the rock. At this rate, she won’t make it. It will take too long. Way too long. “Shut up for a moment.”

Miraculously, he does.

She tries again to pull herself up. Her left arm hurts so much that she lets out a scream. She doesn’t want to be too loud. She can’t be too loud. She feels like crying. There had been moments before when she thought she’d die, of course. When she was at the castle, fighting with Runaan. She was sure that it would be her last fight. But at least she had the chance to _fight_ for herself back then, to not helplessly be at her opponent’s mercy. Now her body won’t listen to her. It is tired. While everything inside her urges her to not give up, her body is done.

“Hey,” Soren says. He sounds like he is giving up. It pisses her off.

“I told you to shut up.”

“You can let go of me.”

“What?” it escapes her. She looks down at him. Something like relief colors his face. It kind of scares her. “No. I won’t.”

“I’m too heavy, I get it. You’ll be able to save yourself, at least.”

“Yeah?” She almost shrieks in her panic, her heart racing until she feels nauseous. “And what will I tell your sister? Oh yeah, he accidentally fell off a cliff, sorry and bye?”

“You tell her that despite all, I love her. I really do.”

“What,” she mouths, and then louder, “what the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m just saying –”

“Then stop saying!” She hisses at the wave of pain cursing through her arm. He’s right, he’s too heavy. But she will be damned if she can’t save that stupid idiot from his death. “You sound ridiculous! Do you even hear yourself?”

“It would make things easier. For everyone.”

“Now listen to me, you dimwit. I’m _not_ here to be your therapist while we are both dangling from a cliff, okay? So be quiet. Stop pitying yourself and just help me get us out of here. Got it?”

He stays quiet for seconds. She tries again. She really tries. Her arm screams in pain. She can’t let him die. She can’t let herself die. She can’t. It wouldn’t make anything easier. Killing someone never makes anything easier. She just has to be strong. Tears spring to her eyes. She has to stay strong. Just as strong as when Runaan looked at her with disappointment in his eyes. Just as strong as when she looked down at her purple-colored hand, preparing herself for a life without it. Telling herself that it would be okay. Because in the end, it was. It was okay. It will be okay.

She manages to heave herself up until her elbow finally rests on ground again. Her breathing is heavy, her stomach is cramping. She feels cold sweat on her forehead and notices that her nails dig into Soren’s skin. Hard. So hard it will probably leave bruises.

“See,” she wheezes. “I told you I won’t let you die.”

“Elf. Rayla. I mean it. You can still –”

“Shut up,” she hisses, and somehow she starts to suspect that he is doing this on purpose. It definitely works. It makes her want to show him that she is capable of more than he thinks. So she takes a deep breath and shifts her whole weight on her elbow. It takes so much strength she doesn’t have. She almost starts screaming. Instead she screws her eyelids shut and thinks about Ezran. About Callum. About them waiting for her. They need her. And she needs them.

She manages to get her upper body on steady ground. Then one of her knees. Soren still dangles from her arm. It takes so much strength to pull him with her that she genuinely starts to cry. Everything hurts. Every single muscle in her body.

But then he grabs the edge by himself, and without any extra weight on him, he can pull himself up.

She can’t believe it. For a few seconds she only thinks about getting away from that damn edge, crawling towards the woods. Then her body collapses. She stares at the sky above her. She counts the stars. She lifts her left arm to look at it and notices that she can’t move it at all. So instead, she lets her head fall to the side. There’s blood. It’s a deep scratch. For a moment, she wonders how her arm didn’t just spontaneously fall off. It’s not like she never had to think about living with one limb less, right? When she lets her head fall to the other side, she sees Soren. He’s looking kind of amazed. Also kind of sad. He shouldn’t be sad. After she gave it her all, risking her life to save his pathetic one, he can’t be sad. He is not allowed to.

“Stop looking like I personally kicked you off that cliff,” she spits. She can’t help it. She’s angry and her heart is still beating way too fast and if she isn’t angry, she will start crying. In earnest. Until her eyes start to hurt.

“You really should have let me go,” he retorts, and it’s the last straw.

“Stop. Just stop. What the hell, what is wrong with you? Why are you so stupid? I just saved your life, be happy, you have to be happy, you have to be!”

“I don’t know, okay?” he suddenly snaps, and the tone alone makes her tense up in an instant. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know what’s … I don’t know what to do. I just – I don’t know and I can’t tell anyone and it’s – it sucks.”

She doesn’t know what to say. She just keeps staring at him while he stares at the sky. It’s quiet, blissfully so. She really starts to cry, just tears, no sobs, just those damn tears. She still can’t move her arms to wipe them away, so she waits for them to roll down her cheeks, into the corners of her mouth, dropping down to the ground.

“Has someone ever,” he whispers, “told you to do something you didn’t want to do? Did you ever feel like you had to do it? But you just couldn’t. You couldn’t because you are a failure. Have you ever felt like that?”

It doesn’t matter what exactly he means, so she answers without hesitation. “Yes.”

He turns his head to look at her. His eyes are glazed over with tears. Maybe it’s relief. Relieved sadness. She doesn’t know. She suddenly wants to reach out to him, but it’s absurd and she can’t move anyway, so she lays there, staring back at him.

“So you didn’t do it?” he asks.

“No.”

“Even though you should have?”

She has to grin. It feels foreign on her face. “I’m an assassin who never killed someone. That’s kinda funny, right?”

He stays silent, looking at her. Looking at her face, studying her, and she suddenly feels flustered. She averts her eyes and waits for him to speak again.

“Did you disappoint someone?” he asks.

She doesn’t know if she should answer. It feels personal and intimate. She hesitates, but when she looks at him again, she feels something. The same questions that she asked herself time and time again. The same longing for someone who tells her that it is okay. That she made the right decision.

“Yes,” she whispers.

“Do you regret it?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because I know I made the right decision.”

He still studies her. It makes her nervous. “How do I know it’s the right decision?”

“What is this about?” she finally dares ask. She manages to lift one arm, the uninjured one, and lays it over her stomach. “What exactly are we talking about?”

“Killing someone.”

She wants to laugh. She doesn’t. She hasn’t stopped crying. Her heartbeat has slowed down a bit. “If you look into their eyes,” she says, “and notice that this person deserves to live because everyone deserves to live … If you can’t bring yourself to do it without having doubts … If something inside yourself stops you, then you know that it’s the right decision.”

“And if it’s the only thing I’m good at?”

“Killing?”

“Mindlessly following orders.”

It’s her turn to study his face. Sharp features. If she had seen him for the first time, she would have described his eyes as kind. A fighter. She knows the feeling of having to fight, she knows the feeling of doubting herself. It’s an endless circle, a struggle she can’t just easily shake off. Her tears stopped. She can feel the pain resurface, pulsating through her bleeding arm.

“If you mindlessly followed orders,” she responds, “you would have killed them by now. But you have doubts. Because you have a heart.” For some reason, she lifts her healthy arm and pokes against his chest. He doesn’t react. “Someone who has a heart can’t be a mindless machine. Because someone who has a heart knows what’s right and what’s wrong.”

“But I don’t,” he whispers, and he suddenly sounds so desperate, and she doesn’t know what to feel, what to think, what to do. “I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong.”

“I’m sure you can figure it out. You just need time. You’ll figure it out.”

He looks at her. Then he stares up at the sky again. It’s beautiful, and she’s alive, and that’s a crazy thing. Almost dying and still being alive, that’s crazy. Realizing that even an idiot like Soren is a person with doubts, that’s also crazy. Feeling something like sympathy for him. She closes her eyes and waits for the pain to subside.

“I’ve always hated elves,” she hears him mutter, and it’s almost like he’s talking to himself. “I always thought it would be okay to get rid of every single one of them, because they are all the same. They can’t understand humans. It’s just impossible for them.”

She doesn’t feel like he needs a response.

“But you saved me. You had a chance to kill me and you didn’t. Even though I tried to kill you before. You didn’t try to kill me. You wanted to … You really wanted to save me.”

Her eyes are still closed. Everything is dark and black and quiet.

“I don’t get it. I really don’t.”

She opens her eyes. “That’s because you are an idiot.”

He stays silent.

“An idiot who’s afraid of spiders of all things.”

He chuckles. Not a reaction she expected, but then again, what does it matter? So she starts to giggle. And then she laughs, hearing him laugh next to her. This time not as loud, but still, it feels great. It feels so great that she is almost about to cry again.

 

“Where have you been?” Claudia studies her brother first. Then she stares at Rayla’s arm. “What – oh heavens. What happened?”

“Just a scratch,” Rayla murmurs and shoves the ingredients in Claudia’s arms. Her arm is throbbing, but it’s endurable. “You’re welcome.”

“I …” Claudia looks at Soren, then at Rayla again. “Do you want me to have a look at it? I’ve got some spells for wounds, or for pain, or –”

“No,” Rayla sharply interrupts. “Thank you.”

Soren stays quiet. It makes her nervous again, and Claudia is drawing her eyebrows together, her lips pressed into a tight line. Then she shrugs and gives a sigh. “All right. I already got started, this won’t take long. Uhm, if you wanna come with …”

“No.”

“Then … Okay. Take care of the princes.” One last glance at the arm before she turns around. “And of yourself.” When Soren doesn’t follow immediately, she glances over her shoulder. “Are you coming?”

Soren clears his throat. “Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Claudia sends both of them a long look, trying to put two and two together. In the end, it doesn’t seem like she can, and she turns around with an unreadable expression. “Don’t kill each other,” she mumbles and resumes her path.

To be honest, Rayla doesn’t know what to do. It’s too weird. So all she can do is stand there and look anywhere but at Soren. It stays quiet for torturous seconds. She keeps looking at her arm. At least it isn’t bleeding anymore. She had the chance to clean it at the stream in the woods, but it doesn’t mean that it hurts any less. So, yeah, great. That’s something she will have to explain to Ezran and Callum.

She almost jumps when Soren finally says something. “So, thanks.”

She nods.

“Just don’t expect me to – I mean, it doesn’t change the fact that …”

“Absolutely. It’s not like …”

“Yeah. And you are still, you know.”

“I know. So we don’t need to …”

“I agree.”

“Same.”

She looks up at his eyes. She can’t handle the secret gratefulness in there. She can’t handle that he seems to be more than just some idiot who tried to kill her. So she takes a step back.

“See you,” she mumbles. “Or hopefully not.”

“Hopefully,” he agrees.

She takes another step back. There’s a ghost of a smile on his lips. It’s nerve-wracking. So she only responds with a ghost of a smile herself, turns around and disappears into the night.

Just some time later, it starts raining. She’s sitting outside the cave the princes are sleeping in, letting the rain wash over her. It feels nice. It feels like some kind of change, even though she can’t really name it. Her whole body still aches. She can’t properly move her arms without them feeling like clay. Above her, she can hear the dragon’s roar as it flees from the rain. She watches the shadow disappear into darkness.

It’s almost morning.


End file.
